Sentidokomon

(Tinig Pinoy-Politis Novemver 2008)

By Johanna Bogbog, Column-writer (Sideview)

The title of our topic for this issue is of course the opposite of a line in the lyrics of a song ” absence makes the heart grow fonder”. 
In like manner with everything, I’m very very sure that readers will have different reactions and opinions. Some could be judgmental; others who are open-minded will understand and leave judgment to the Creator.
Broken relationships caused by long separation or absence are a non-debatable fact. Thousands of marriages had been broken due to the absence of one party and topping the list of reasons is working away from one’s beloved partner most especially if the work is out of the country which takes years of absence.
I talked to some people whom I know are married but are having relationships with ‘boyfriends’ here in Cyprus. Some ladies said that their affair is a rebound from the hurt and betrayal that they suffer which is caused by the infidelity of their spouses back home. But as we often hear, problems can not be solved by creating another problem, and revenge is the worst way of getting back to someone who did you wrong. Others whose heart had gone astray said that they met somebody who resembles their beloved either in looks, character, or taste and somehow the affair has lessened their homesickness and longings. Others simply said that they met someone fantastic who made them forget who they are or who made them realized that they do not really love their spouses. And others are having affairs because of financial and other needs.
However, whatever reasons there might be, these affairs are still morally wrong. And everybody knows it. One of the Ten Commandments is “thou shall not commit adultery”. This is a tall order from our God. One lady jokingly said that she is not breaking God’s commandment because the wordings in the old testament goes this way “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife”, and she is having an affair not with somebody’s wife but with a man, besides Philippines is too far away from Cyprus for the man to be her neighbor. Well, that is literally speaking, but Jesus Christ has clarified the meaning of it many times in the New Testament.
So, we all know that extra-marital relationships are wrong but why do we do it? Because we are weak, we are vulnerable. Sometimes, outside forces are too strong to counteract. Most especially that we are in a country where the foundation of marriage is loose because divorce is allowed. And this has somehow shattered the Filipino value on the permanence of marriage. Church leaders are not also exempted from this moral crisis. Temptations are very strong most especially for preachers. For those whose heart has gone wandering away from their beloved, do not make their situation worse by talking against them or using their situation to destroy them, or making bigger problems by telling their families and friends in the Philippines. Pray for them instead and help them overcome the situation they are in. Some of us consider ourselves as immaculate and condemn others. Let us always bear in mind that judgment is God’s sole right.
To those who honored and kept their marriage vows no matter what, I give you my snappiest salute. For those whose marriage is hopeless, I wish you a second chance at love and an eventual better marriage. And for us whose heart had just wandered away, let’s try to get it back and put it to where it should be.